DOES CRY HELP OR HEAL?
"Cry Does Not Heal"
'Cry does not heal...' I have been thinking over and over trying to find the meaning of this expression. I started by checking the meaning of "cry" and I found it associated with loud scream,weaping and shedding tears. Well,this reminded me of something but then I said ,NO,let me check the meaning of the word 'heal' and I found it associated with curing,repair and bringing back to normal or rather to restore.I then remembered my past life fully sorrounded by cries. My life was tough. I used to live at the Coast with a woman I used to call mum. She was loving and caring. Later I was snatched off from her with excuse that I was to get circumcised. She wept and tried to stop my departure but nothing changed the final word.
On my arrival to my new environment in western Kenya,I was informed she was not my mother and so she didn't deserve to be with me. At this point my life shifted its course. I didn't know what and where I was that's to say I was engulfed by confusion. I wondered whether I was parentless or if I was a product of adoption.
I had never seen nor heard anything about my dad and now the question of mother had risen.
I got circumcised and started inquiring to know when I was going back to the Coast. Even though everything had been said,I had missed my "mother" and wanted to go back and meet her. I had been informed that she was my mother's elder sister. I was then told that I was not going back to Coast instead I was going to join school in Western.
I cried, screamed ,wept but no one paid me attention nor heard me, it was final. I was taken to school under the new taste of life. I had an aunt and uncle who used to brew alcohol in the compound, they drunk alot I became a cart to load water from the spring for the process of brewing. I was not to be found relaxing even a minute and if found ,I was to face a thorough beating and even miss a meal.
I cried, screamed ,wept but no one paid me attention nor heard me, it was final. I was taken to school under the new taste of life. I had an aunt and uncle who used to brew alcohol in the compound, they drunk alot I became a cart to load water from the spring for the process of brewing. I was not to be found relaxing even a minute and if found ,I was to face a thorough beating and even miss a meal.
When in class 6 my uncle took a sword and used it rightfully on me. He poured out all his insults out of which he mentioned that my mother was in prostitution in the city not caring about me. This is the day I learned the truth that my biological mother was alive leaving in the city with her husband.
One day she came to be introduced to me, it took me time to accept that she was indeed my mother. I wondered why a mother leave her son to dwell in such pain after 9 month of pregnancy. I was then told that her husband;my step father had rejected the idea of her getting married to him with a baby and so she had no an option.
Life continued and suddenly sad news came that my guardian at the Coast had passed away. That was real blow to me. I cried thinking that my cry would reverse everything and bring her back to life but nothing happened. I had lost the only life I had in the world.
My mother tried her best to bring me on tune. She begun showing me her love and even giving me promises and hopes, encouraging me to work hard in school that she was going to try her best to see me join a university. I tried my best though under tough circumstances to study hard and see her accomplish her promises.
Death became even more cruel to me by snatching her away from me again leaving me empty.
Life became even more tough for me. Even though through my cries I have relieved from the pains,cry has not helped me since it never restored whatever I cried for. Everything that had gone remained gone and I realized that cry can only kill pains but won't bring back to you that which is lost.
If at all cry will remain the only option in life then we are doomed for all it will do is to sooth us from pains thus making us used to tribulations. In that way we won't be able to struggle towards success but keep crying and lamenting. I believe what we need to do is to fasten our belts and stick to the idea of working towards changing our situations rather than crying.
Life continued and suddenly sad news came that my guardian at the Coast had passed away. That was real blow to me. I cried thinking that my cry would reverse everything and bring her back to life but nothing happened. I had lost the only life I had in the world.
My mother tried her best to bring me on tune. She begun showing me her love and even giving me promises and hopes, encouraging me to work hard in school that she was going to try her best to see me join a university. I tried my best though under tough circumstances to study hard and see her accomplish her promises.
Death became even more cruel to me by snatching her away from me again leaving me empty.
Life became even more tough for me. Even though through my cries I have relieved from the pains,cry has not helped me since it never restored whatever I cried for. Everything that had gone remained gone and I realized that cry can only kill pains but won't bring back to you that which is lost.
If at all cry will remain the only option in life then we are doomed for all it will do is to sooth us from pains thus making us used to tribulations. In that way we won't be able to struggle towards success but keep crying and lamenting. I believe what we need to do is to fasten our belts and stick to the idea of working towards changing our situations rather than crying.
Courage,motivation, commitment and being driven by conviction and accountability may help us achieve that. This way,we will be focussed and tackle our challenges with strengths. We will be able to act on our weak points and analyze our time and chances well. That means we should break loose and get out of our comfort zone and call for change.
Life isn't about fear and giving up. After all the tortures and pains I went through, I said to myself that life has to continue no matter what. I won't allow situations to rule over me and take away the joy and happiness I have fought for since childhood. I will not waste time trying to make my prosecutors to understand my innocence by shedding off tears. I will not force the world to understand me by crying. I will only allow conviction to bear commitment in me and I am read to reap whatever I sow. I won't do it out of preference.
Life isn't about fear and giving up. After all the tortures and pains I went through, I said to myself that life has to continue no matter what. I won't allow situations to rule over me and take away the joy and happiness I have fought for since childhood. I will not waste time trying to make my prosecutors to understand my innocence by shedding off tears. I will not force the world to understand me by crying. I will only allow conviction to bear commitment in me and I am read to reap whatever I sow. I won't do it out of preference.
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